Anna Tikhomirova of Tenth Muse Flowers

The 531st recipient is Anna Tikhomirova of Tenth Muse Flowers in Trenton, NJ. Anna writes:

What self-care and well-being mean to me as a farmer: “It means 'putting your own mask on first' before you're able to properly and fully show up for your farm, your duties, your coworkers, and the life that relies on you every day. To me this means being your own friend, treating your tired mind and body with self-respect and gentleness, and giving yourself compassion and space to FEEL all the positive and negative feelings that farming as a job and life brings with it. It's too easy to fall into the chug-along trap, always moving onto the next task and stressing over the next broken polyline or greenhouse hole that needs to get patched, without giving your BODY and MIND the satisfaction of having wins, no matter how big or small, throughout every day. These wins can be anything from a successful completion of a task, to a problem solved by sheer luck, to a well-timed rainstorm. Acknowledging these 'wins' is as simple as stopping for a moment to feel joy in your heart. I strongly believe rushing past these moments is one of the main causes of burnout. We deserve to feel joy and support from our communities, friends, and families, but first and foremost we have to award OURSELVES that support and space to feel joy throughout every day. We have to make space for our own compassion toward ourselves - consciously and meticulously. In this high-stress, fast-paced world, especially on a farm where literal life or death of plants and animals relies on us every second of every day, where we are caregivers to the planet and to our community, it is almost impossible to consider putting ourselves first. Especially those of us with traumas that programmed our minds to do the exact opposite of that. Self-care is understanding that it's not 'me OR the farm', it's 'me AND the farm'. My little joys, my moments of self-care, are also the farm's joys, the plants' and animals' joys, and care of the farm itself. After all, I am the farm.”

How I might use this $100 self-care award: ”I would use the $100 to get a small tattoo of my favorite flower that I grow on my flower farm, the iris, a flower that my grandma grew in her garden, that started my whole journey into flower farming. It's easy to lose track of the why we farm when we're in the weeds every day, but this tattoo would be a visual reminder to pause, remember, and honor the connection between my grandma, myself, and the flowers in my hands every day. Farming wasn't always my job, but actively working on reconnecting to myself and my heart and being led by my grandma's memory has opened up a life that I never could have imagined for myself. Although I still struggle every day with self-criticality, being too hard on myself and punishing myself when things go wrong on the farm, I am on a healing journey. The tattoo, placed on my wrist where I can see it multiple times a day, will be a physical reminder to love myself, and treat myself as my grandma would treat me.” 

Most important self-care needs that contribute to my well-being as a farmer: "The most important self-care needs is taking care of my body and mind. That means daily morning yoga, daily night tea, and weekly ongoing therapy with a trauma-informed, LGBTQ+ -friendly, holistic therapist. As farmers, we often work alone and have a list a million miles long of to-dos, which keeps our minds focused on the next thing. However, healing is an active job. It requires us to make time for it. Rarely do we take the time to pause and allow ourselves to heal with little joys, or breakthroughs with a therapist, or remembering the support of our families and our communities. The gift of time is precious to us as farmers, so the most important form of self-care we can do for ourselves is create time throughout the day to breathe, relax, process emotions, and feel joy.”

#realfarmercare